Singer Fiona Apple was arrested last week for bringing weed into Texas…a thing many other celebs have learned the hard way in the past. The state has a no-nonsense rule for all things green, and will promptly take you to jail for it, whether you’re a Joe Schmo or a big name celebrity. Following her brief bid, Fiona made a long statement at her next show, blasting the cops that arrested her and promising to make them “f*cking famous.” Now HCSD Public Information Officer Rusty Fleming has responded to her rant, and he absolutely ripped her in the process. Check out his hilarious letter below. Marisa Mendez